I prayed for a husband and the Lord kept showing me…ME. I began to pray harder and more fervently and even then He kept showing me myself. After experiencing divorce and painful failed relationships, I started to think “Lord is this Your way of telling me that marriage is not in Your will for my life?” But then I began to realize that God knows that I desire to be married. He knows that it is also my desire to marry a man that loves Him first and will seek to love me the way that He does. It is not that He does not desire those things for me; it is that He wants me to spend this time preparing myself for the man that He has chosen for me. 1 Corinthians 11:7-9 reminds us that the woman was created for the man, not the man for the woman. Now hold on all of my strong independent women….don’t lose me here. Although the Bible suggests that we are the weaker vessel, it does not suggest that we are less. In fact, this passage in 1 Corinthians speaks to how esteemed we are in our relationships. It says that we are the glory (something that brings praise or honor) of man.
It goes way back to the story of Adam and Eve. We find in Genesis where God had already created the Earth, given Adam dominion over everything, and given him the task of naming all of animals. The Bible says that out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every fowl of the air, but when it came to Adam there was no one who complimented him. Realizing this, we’re told God caused a deep sleep to fall upon him and while sleeping, God took one of Adam’s ribs and created Eve, a helper fit for him. The creation of Eve speaks directly to her function. In the natural sense, the function of the rib as it relates to the ribcage is to protect and support. That is also God’s intention for the woman as it relates to the man in marriage. How does she do that? She protects him by covering him in prayer, she walks beside him supporting and encouraging him, and she builds him up. That is the function that she was specifically designed for. So when we as women begin to seek God for a husband we must understand that just as the man has great responsibility so do we. Many times we’re asking God to give us a husband while He is still developing in us what we will need to hold up the man that He has for us. I know that God knows everything about me. He has predestined me even for the man that He would have me to spend the rest of my life with. None of my past life experiences have come as a surprise to Him. Every situation in my life has been divinely orchestrated to form me into the woman that I am today. So in seeking God for a mate, I began to say Lord what is my function? The Lord began to show me that many times even in our singleness, He is developing us with what we need to be a blessing to our husbands. In the last year I have developed a very strong prayer life. There were times when I could not sleep and I would immediately begin to pray. One day the Lord revealed to me that He is developing a prayer life in me now because when He sends the man that He has for me He wants me to be equipped to pray over him and intercede on his behalf. On yesterday, I heard the man of God say that like David, there are times when God will anoint you NOW for AFTERWHILE. You might not understand it at this point in your life, but God is setting you up now to carry out what He has destined you to do even beyond this season. You must know that God has not forgotten about you and it is His will that you have the desires of your heart even as it relates to marriage but know that He wants the best for you and He also wants you to be at your best. God might be calling you to WAIT because He is developing you. We have been given MANY examples in Scripture of believers on whom God called to wait-Abraham, Sarah, Jacob, Joseph, and Hannah to name a few. Their time of waiting on God’s hand was an integral part of their walk with God. The Bible exhorts us repeatedly to wait patiently for the hand of the Lord to work in our lives. It is human nature to think of periods of waiting as holding patterns with no discernable value. Instead, Scripture teaches that there are great blessings to be had in the actual waiting period. But, you must understand that the principle of Godly waiting does not mean being stagnant. You must be busy working to prepare yourself for the person that God has for you. The Bible tells us that No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly (Proverbs 18:22). God wants to bless you but if you want Him to send you a God-centered relationship, you must begin working now to live God- honoring lives so that when He sends you your mate you will be ready.
1 Comment
“Take heart, daughter, he said, “Your faith has healed you…” Matthew 9:20-22
Many of us walk around with the weight of shame brought on by life, past decisions, or even guilt that has been inflicted on us by other people. Whether it be living though a broken marriage or divorce, failed relationships with friends and family, the past shame of sexual abuse or addiction, not feeling pretty enough or simply not feeling like we measure up to other people’s expectations of us…..SHAME! We find in Matthew 9:20-22 the healing of the woman who had suffered with the issue of blood for twelve years. In order to really understand her feeling of shame, you must know that in this condition she was considered unclean by those around her. So, you can imagine how this may have affected her relationship with people and caused her to feel an immense sense of loneliness and isolation. The woman did, however, have the faith to believe if she could just get to Jesus…if she could simply make contact with Him; she would be healed. After encountering Him, He spoke to her saying “Take heart daughter your faith has healed you.” This is what should really bless you…He turned to her, He acknowledged her presence, validated who she was by referring to her as daughter and commended her for her faith. There she was in a place of shame feeling unworthy and unclean and He spoke to who she was and not to her condition. He called her daughter. It was the validation that despite what she had been dealing with, no matter how long it had persisted, or how people had perceived her, He saw her the way she was meant to be seen. At the time of her healing, she was free from the bondage associated with the shame of her past. In the same way, many women carry around a deep, hidden, and unspoken sense of shame or insignificance regardless of how confident they may appear on the outside. Regret and shame over failure, loss, or self-perception causes them to be weighed down and feel unworthy to be healed, loved, or used by a holy God. Shame prevents us from intimacy with God because it makes us feel distant from Him, but I am here to tell you that is the trick of the enemy! The enemy wants to see you bogged down and feeling depressed and unworthy of the blessings of God. Shame is a thief! If you’re not careful it will steal your joy, it will steal your happiness, and it will steal your peace. Instead of you trusting God’s intentions and waiting for His provisions you will begin to believe that because of your past or because of your current situation you are somehow undeserving of greater. I went through a period of that myself. Although I have always been strong in faith, there were times when I found myself alone with my thoughts and feeling a sense of shame. Divorce is one of the hardest things that a person can ever deal with. I don’t know one person who gets married with the intention of divorcing. No matter how hard the marriage or how difficult things become along the way, after investing so much time, resources and even the blending of families and lives, you want to try to make it work. So when it didn’t work, I was devastated! Then there was the shame…what would people think of me? Perhaps people would assume that I just gave up. How will my children be perceived coming from a “broken home.” Oh the shame of it all! Then, after finally feeling healed from the shame of the divorce and being able to move on, it seemed that God sent a man right down from Heaven to sweep me off my feet. Only for him to decide that he no longer wanted to be married and that ending the relationship was best for him. Again, the feeling of shame and even defeat and despair this time. How could this happen? What was wrong with me? Am I truly not worthy of a man that will choose to NOT give up on me? How will people perceive me? Surely people will think there is something wrong with me. Why can’t I seem to maintain healthy relationships? As I begin to try to sort through all of those emotions, I did as the woman with the issue of blood….I began to press my way to Jesus. I began to seek to touch Him to allow Him to heal the hurt that I felt in my heart. It has not been easy and it is still a journey that I am on even today but I have managed to separate that hurt that I felt from the feelings of guilt and shame. I no longer feel ashamed of who I am and what I have endured in my life. I begin to realize and declare that God has equipped and prepared me for His divine purpose based specifically on the experience of my past. Not merely because of the fact that I have experienced those things but the fact that I have experienced them and OVERCOME them through Christ Jesus. I have been uniquely equipped to make my life count! I have been able to overcome shame in my life in the area of failed relationships and God is yet healing my heart of the residue of the pain that was left behind. But many people are still hidden in that secret shame. It is that terrible, private feeling that something is wrong with you—that you are somehow defective as a person. It makes you want to run and hide and protect yourself from exposure to other people’s judgment. The good news is that anytime shame surfaces there is an opportunity to experience healing of those experiences and beliefs that have fed the shame. When Jesus faced death by crucifixion, we are told that he “endured the cross and scorned the shame” (Hebrews 12:2), Jesus endured the pain. That is, Jesus did not avoid the suffering, but instead, he went through the suffering. But he rejected the shame. All the shame that others were attempting to heap on him had no power over him. Jesus did not accept the shame others were trying to put on him. He was being treated as a person with little or no value. But the message of shame, “you have little or no value,” was a lie and Jesus refused to accept it…..and so can we! We have to know that God seeks and calls us out of hiding and away from the shame. It doesn’t matter what you have experienced in your past, His grace is sufficient to cover all of our insufficiencies. We must be willing to stand before Him and lay at His feet all of our weaknesses, all of our hurt places, and the places that cause us to feel undeserving of love; allowing Him to heal them. When we stand before Him naked (transparent) and unclean, He does not cast us away but it is there that He loves us. There in our most downtrodden state is where He reaches out with acceptance and mercy and touches us. It is there when we are uncovered with our shame before Him, with the guilt of our past surrendered, and every shortcoming that we have lifted up to Him that He removes the feelings of shame and provides us a righteous covering. The safest place for shameful heart is before a gracious God. In my personal devotion, I began to read 2 Kings 4:1-7 about the widow woman who sought out the Prophet Elisha after finding herself in a state of lack. It has truly been a blessing to me so I wanted to share some of my thoughts.
We find her in the opening of this text crying out to Elisha. She informed him that her husband had died and that she was now in a financial bind. Elisha answered to her saying “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?” She told him that she had nothing but a small jar of olive oil. It is important for you to understand that she was well aware of everything that she was up against. She had creditors knocking at her door, her money was scarce, her husband had died and she still had a family that she had to take care of and the only thing she had in her house was one small jar of oil. Although she was obviously concerned, we can deduce that she did have some faith because she had the presence of mind to seek out the man of God. After she explained to Elisha what she had, he told her to go around and ask all her neighbors for empty jars. He said don’t just ask for just a few, ask for all that you can find. Then he instructed her to go inside the house and shut the door behind her and her sons and begin to pour the oil into the jars, and as each is filled, put them aside. This was significant because even though he knew that all she had in her house was one small jar of oil, he still told her to go and get all the empty jars she could find…not just a few but ALL that she could find. He then told her to go inside and shut the door behind her and her sons. WoW, the fact that he instructed her to go inside and shut the door may not seem like much to you but it created a moment for me!! Sometimes when God is getting ready to do some things in your life, you can’t always share it with the world right away. The affects there of are sure to be a blessing to the masses but in the PROCESS, He may just want you to get away and close yourself off from outside influences and voices in order to hear His voice more clearly and to carry out His instructions. And when He has completed His work in you, He will release you to share it with the world in order to be a blessing to others. After doing what she was told, she began to pour the oil into the empty jars and it began to flow without hesitation. The oil continued to flow until every container that she had acquired was full. The once small jar of oil had begun to not only meet the need of the lack that she was experiencing but had begun to provide an OVERFLOW. Elisha told her to sell enough of the oil to pay off her debts and live off of what was left. That’s enough to praise God on right there!!! Although she didn’t see it right away, everything that she needed to survive was IN THE HOUSE! The oil was the sustaining grace. It was the resource that she needed to alleviate the lack. That lets me know that many times everything that we need to be great for God is inside of us and all we need to do is tap into it….the potential, the purpose, the anointing. God has already supplied us with what we need but we just need to wake up and realize that it’s in the house. Now the prophet did tell her to go OUTSIDE of her house and ask for every jar that she could find. But remember the blessing wasn’t in the container because the empty containers by themselves were useless. The blessing was in the oil that was already in her possession. The significance of her going outside of the house and asking for the jars was that it was an activation of her faith. Even though it probably seemed strange to her to go out asking for all of these containers considering the fact that she just told him she only had one little jar of oil…she was obedient! No matter how strange or uncomfortable something may seem, when God has called you to do something DO IT! There is a blessing in being obedient. This story blessed me in a major way! I was reminded that there is great potential in me even today and God is simply waiting for me to activate my faith to unlock it. He not only wants to bless us to meet our needs, He desires that we begin to live in such a way that every need that we have is met and we are living off of the overflow! The widow woman could have easily not heeded the word of the prophet. She could have remained in her house with her jar of oil and attempted to sale it for what it was worth and used that small amount BUT God had another plan. He had something greater and all she needed to do to unlock it was to walk in obedience. Begin to trust God, begin to take Him at His Word, begin to put your faith in Him and watch Him use what’s in the house to provide YOUR overflow blessing! |
AuthorMarshunda Thomas Archives
January 2020
Categories |