“Take heart, daughter, he said, “Your faith has healed you…” Matthew 9:20-22
Many of us walk around with the weight of shame brought on by life, past decisions, or even guilt that has been inflicted on us by other people. Whether it be living though a broken marriage or divorce, failed relationships with friends and family, the past shame of sexual abuse or addiction, not feeling pretty enough or simply not feeling like we measure up to other people’s expectations of us…..SHAME! We find in Matthew 9:20-22 the healing of the woman who had suffered with the issue of blood for twelve years. In order to really understand her feeling of shame, you must know that in this condition she was considered unclean by those around her. So, you can imagine how this may have affected her relationship with people and caused her to feel an immense sense of loneliness and isolation. The woman did, however, have the faith to believe if she could just get to Jesus…if she could simply make contact with Him; she would be healed. After encountering Him, He spoke to her saying “Take heart daughter your faith has healed you.” This is what should really bless you…He turned to her, He acknowledged her presence, validated who she was by referring to her as daughter and commended her for her faith. There she was in a place of shame feeling unworthy and unclean and He spoke to who she was and not to her condition. He called her daughter. It was the validation that despite what she had been dealing with, no matter how long it had persisted, or how people had perceived her, He saw her the way she was meant to be seen. At the time of her healing, she was free from the bondage associated with the shame of her past. In the same way, many women carry around a deep, hidden, and unspoken sense of shame or insignificance regardless of how confident they may appear on the outside. Regret and shame over failure, loss, or self-perception causes them to be weighed down and feel unworthy to be healed, loved, or used by a holy God. Shame prevents us from intimacy with God because it makes us feel distant from Him, but I am here to tell you that is the trick of the enemy! The enemy wants to see you bogged down and feeling depressed and unworthy of the blessings of God. Shame is a thief! If you’re not careful it will steal your joy, it will steal your happiness, and it will steal your peace. Instead of you trusting God’s intentions and waiting for His provisions you will begin to believe that because of your past or because of your current situation you are somehow undeserving of greater. I went through a period of that myself. Although I have always been strong in faith, there were times when I found myself alone with my thoughts and feeling a sense of shame. Divorce is one of the hardest things that a person can ever deal with. I don’t know one person who gets married with the intention of divorcing. No matter how hard the marriage or how difficult things become along the way, after investing so much time, resources and even the blending of families and lives, you want to try to make it work. So when it didn’t work, I was devastated! Then there was the shame…what would people think of me? Perhaps people would assume that I just gave up. How will my children be perceived coming from a “broken home.” Oh the shame of it all! Then, after finally feeling healed from the shame of the divorce and being able to move on, it seemed that God sent a man right down from Heaven to sweep me off my feet. Only for him to decide that he no longer wanted to be married and that ending the relationship was best for him. Again, the feeling of shame and even defeat and despair this time. How could this happen? What was wrong with me? Am I truly not worthy of a man that will choose to NOT give up on me? How will people perceive me? Surely people will think there is something wrong with me. Why can’t I seem to maintain healthy relationships? As I begin to try to sort through all of those emotions, I did as the woman with the issue of blood….I began to press my way to Jesus. I began to seek to touch Him to allow Him to heal the hurt that I felt in my heart. It has not been easy and it is still a journey that I am on even today but I have managed to separate that hurt that I felt from the feelings of guilt and shame. I no longer feel ashamed of who I am and what I have endured in my life. I begin to realize and declare that God has equipped and prepared me for His divine purpose based specifically on the experience of my past. Not merely because of the fact that I have experienced those things but the fact that I have experienced them and OVERCOME them through Christ Jesus. I have been uniquely equipped to make my life count! I have been able to overcome shame in my life in the area of failed relationships and God is yet healing my heart of the residue of the pain that was left behind. But many people are still hidden in that secret shame. It is that terrible, private feeling that something is wrong with you—that you are somehow defective as a person. It makes you want to run and hide and protect yourself from exposure to other people’s judgment. The good news is that anytime shame surfaces there is an opportunity to experience healing of those experiences and beliefs that have fed the shame. When Jesus faced death by crucifixion, we are told that he “endured the cross and scorned the shame” (Hebrews 12:2), Jesus endured the pain. That is, Jesus did not avoid the suffering, but instead, he went through the suffering. But he rejected the shame. All the shame that others were attempting to heap on him had no power over him. Jesus did not accept the shame others were trying to put on him. He was being treated as a person with little or no value. But the message of shame, “you have little or no value,” was a lie and Jesus refused to accept it…..and so can we! We have to know that God seeks and calls us out of hiding and away from the shame. It doesn’t matter what you have experienced in your past, His grace is sufficient to cover all of our insufficiencies. We must be willing to stand before Him and lay at His feet all of our weaknesses, all of our hurt places, and the places that cause us to feel undeserving of love; allowing Him to heal them. When we stand before Him naked (transparent) and unclean, He does not cast us away but it is there that He loves us. There in our most downtrodden state is where He reaches out with acceptance and mercy and touches us. It is there when we are uncovered with our shame before Him, with the guilt of our past surrendered, and every shortcoming that we have lifted up to Him that He removes the feelings of shame and provides us a righteous covering. The safest place for shameful heart is before a gracious God.
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AuthorMarshunda Thomas Archives
January 2020
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