A love like this redefines what love is. We have often been taught that love is like the images that we see on the movie screen or perhaps our idea of love is derived from the disillusionment that many have experienced growing up in dysfunctional homes. But a love like this shatters those stereotypes and creates rules of its own. A love like this is one that not only chooses to listen but makes every effort to understand and one that has the capacity to selflessly relinquish the need to always be right.
A love like this is not always about what you “feel” but instead the realization that true love is a continuous and intentional decision to commit to another person. There will be many times that you find yourself annoyed, disappointed, or even angry with your partner but when you are intentional (purposeful and deliberate) in the way that you love you won’t lose sight of the commitment. In fact, you will have a better understanding that what you have committed yourself to is bigger than whatever the emotion is that is currently driving your actions. Timothy Keller gives the Christian version of what it means to fall in love. He says that it is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating and say, “I see who god is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that journey and partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to His throne.” What a beautiful sentiment! It is the idea that you have the foresight to see something in someone that they may not even see in themselves. Today’s women have become so caught up in wanting to be everything that a man is that they have lost sight of the fact that God created them to be everything that a man is NOT so that they can complement him. She has been masterfully designed to help him even when he doesn’t realize that he needs help. She is to be his eyes when he has lost sight of his vision and has been given the divine ability to pull out of him what God has placed in him. For a long time, I was convinced that a love like this did not exist. I desired a love that was not willing to give up and one that was worth fighting for. Not a love that I had to fight to keep but one that was worth fighting to maintain. I used to say that love was hard work until I realized that wasn’t true at all. Relationships are hard work and require sacrifice and compromise to maintain, but love…love is effortless. After thirty-five years of living and plenty of failed relationships I have learned that the most important element of love is friendship. It is the foundation that love should be built on. It is the idea that not only could you be madly in love with someone, but that you could actually like them as a person as well. When you develop a genuine friendship with a person that you are in love with, you can be certain that no matter what you face on your journey, you will always have your best friend by your side. If you are ever blessed to find a love like this, make sure that you are careful to protect it. The more you cherish love the more valuable it will become. If you have a man that respects himself, loves god, and recognizes your worth; make sure that you do your best to honor him. Too many times we cry, beg, and plead for God to send us a good man and when He does we mishandle the gift that we have been given. For this love I have prayed and for that reason will I cherish it….
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AuthorMarshunda Thomas Archives
January 2020
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